Michael Jackson Photo

Michael Jackson, at his death, was the undisputed King of Pop. He was a brilliant and complicated individual, who likely needed a real friend. But now you can channel that pain into comedy gold. Learn More

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Greetings Hello It's Michael Jackson Michael Jackson I can't believe you never heard of me, I'm a very popular entertainer I'm done So long Questions Well how about this? Can I stay with you tonight? Well, have you heard of MTV? How do you like the smell? Is it good? Does it smell good enough for you in there? Musical [music] [Sings Billie Jean Chorus] Miscellaneous Because Sex! Greed Money Motown Beat it Cookies For sex Handcuffs Peter Pan Somewhere Thriller! It could be Statements I'm a vegetarian and I don't drink I'm in pain all the time Imma slit my wrists I see God In a pure, loving, fun way When I was your age I had six gold records Well back in 1979 when my Off the Wall album got just one grammy nomination I can't sleep at night I slept on the floor In a mental institution I'm not afraid to say it The men handled me very roughly One time I asked to use the restroom There was doo-doo feces thrown all over the walls And it stunk, so bad I was outraged That's happened many times It's not a good idea I love them so much They enjoy it That's how we were raised My mind doesn't run that way I could never do something like that Money is the root of all evil It's people with a dirty mind that think like that Elephants and giraffes and crodiles and lions Positive Responses Hmmm I uhm... Yes Ok It's ok Sure Why not? Absolutely Of course! [Cough] [Giggles] It's true! Good, that's good You'd be amazed how often I hear that I could do something like that Give him hot milk That's what I see Negative Responses No No, that's wrong I'm sorry I'm afraid I can't quite say... I would slit my wrists first I'm not allowed to talk on that I wouldn't have a problem with it It's not where my heart is That I'm not Totally false None of it's true; it's BS That's someone else Not for sex! Just because it's in print doesn't mean it's the gospel